| Legens Entry |
[Thursday
March 27th, 2008 at 2:28pm] |
I think I got my wife exactly what she wanted for her birthday and that means now that that celebration is out of the way, it's time to move on to the next. This would be,of course, my own birthday.
On April 20th, I'm going to turn 23. I think that means I should start celebrating on the 29th of this month so I can celebrate one day for each year the world has been blessed with my witty repartee and devilish good looks. Maybe I can convince the headmaster to give me my little brother on the 22nd so I can get him completely pissed in my honor.
Since I'm such a generous person, as I think I've managed to prove over the years, I'm going to allow people to start sending me gifts tomorrow but owls only, please. I'm a married man now and I can't have nude women wrapped only in ribbon showing up on my doorstep anymore.
|
|
|
| Journal Entry |
[Wednesday
March 26th, 2008 at 2:38pm] |
I went to Saint Mungo's again to follow up with the test I took last Wednesday and the mediwizard I spoke to assured me that there was absolutely nothing wrong with me. Believe me, the most difficult thing I've ever had to do was not inform my darling wife that I was after all, perfectly adequate, and finally had the proof to back up what I've always insisted.
Then I remembered that it wasn't the Dark Lord who had given me my examination so the word of my fertility could have come directly from God and it still wouldn't matter to her.
Of course, just because there's nothing wrong with me doesn't mean there's something wrong with her. It could just be as I've come to suspect, her womb is as odious and inhospitable to me as she is. Or maybe my future children just know better. She may very well eat her offspring, after all.
I had this horrible dream that spiders came out of her once...
|
|
|
| Journal Entry |
[Saturday
March 15th, 2008 at 12:17am] |
I had another fight with Bellatrix yesterday but I'm not entirely sure who won so I can't quite update my victory tally yet. I'm pretty sure marriages weren't supposed to be built around the competition of who could make the other one the most miserable, but I've never been married before so I could be wrong.
I have an appointment at Saint Mungo's on Wednesday. I mean to get down to the bottom of this whole--childless marriage business. I can't even visit my parents anymore without my mother asking about grand children and dozens of other personal questions no sane son would ever want to be asked by his mother. Soon I'll just have to start making up lies even if I've never been able to successfully lie to the woman. Maybe matricide --
|
|
|
| Legens Entry |
[Saturday
March 15th, 2008 at 12:15am] |
I know what all of you are thinking right now.
"Another one? What have I done to get this lucky? There is such a thing as karma after all!"
And You're Welcome.
But here's what I think: I'd really like to watch Lucius Malfoy snog a girl. Any girl. Why? Because he's pretty like one and if I squinted just a bit, it would be really smashing.
|
|
|
| Legens Entry |
[Thursday
March 13th, 2008 at 11:56pm] |
Being an adult, married and settled down into a mature lifestyle, I honestly never planned on purchasing one of these books. I swear, these new fangled devices you youngsters come up with really are something else. Why, back in my day, if we wanted to communicate with our peers or other people around the world, we had to do it the hard way. We had to send messages through owls and sometimes we had to actually go out and walk to places where other children and people of interest were gathered. Sometimes, there were snacks.
I suppose, however, that allowing myself to dilly dally in the carefree fads of adolescents just may give me an opportunity to recapture some of my spent youth. It's important to stay young lest you die an early death or, worse yet, wrinkle.
I don't believe I'll have a great deal in common with most of the other trendy Legens owners from what I've seen, but apparently, these books are widespread and popular and anyone who's anyone has one. Who knows, maybe I'll end up communicating with some aged old wizard who holds the secret of immortality and has only been waiting, all this time, to find the perfect young gentleman with which to share his discovery. I can't imagine there would be anyone out there more deserving of this information than myself.
Although I just may be able to glean some useful information slash advice from this thing. You see, the problem is, my precious wife's birthday is on the horizon and I haven't the faintest idea of what to get her. It wouldn't, after all, be manly to be sensitive and intuitive. So, would anyone happen to have any ideas? Or better yet, if there are any poor pregnant witches out there in a bind and not quite sure what to do with their offspring, I'd be glad to take it off your hands for you. My wife does so enjoy the souls of innocents She likes rainbows, kittens, puppies, laughter, and free trade. (gruesome, I know!).
|
|
|
| Q & A |
[Tuesday
March 11th, 2008 at 7:29pm] |
|
Have a question for Rodolphus? Ask away!
|
|
|
